And The Band Played On...

We arrive at this moment at last. The moment that the groom pushes the bride aside for a little attention of his own. That's right, I'm a part of this wedding, too! Maybe it's not a 50-50 split (guys, you know what I mean), but here I am, usurping Anjani's blog for a little action of my own! Since I have this short moment, I'm going to milk it. Prepare for a long post!

I wanted to talk about a major decision that was made several weeks ago and I've been neglecting to share. I believe, based on advice from others, that us guys must "pick our battles". Think about the few things that really matter to you about a wedding, and for the others, let your beautiful bride take the reins and just provide as much support as possible.

With that, for me, there are a few things that I hold very dear to my heart when it comes to this wedding. First, I am a product of my community - the family and friends who have held me up over the years. Simply put, I don't want to leave ANYONE off the list. They all mean so much to me and I don't want to omit anyone. Being Indian means that you are part of a large community, and I've been taught to embrace that in my family, personal, and professional life. In my mind, a small wedding is simply not an option! The guest list is one area where I will (and have) certainly been vocal and an active contributer.

Second, I think many Indian-Americans grow up feeling like evangelists of that other half, culturally, of who we are - the brown half. Combining the two, I've dreamt about having a big wedding, a wedding where I could bring my whole life into one room and share what it means to be Indian with all of those who may not have had that experience. I wanted the "big fat Indian wedding", chock full of color, light, dance, food, saris/kurthas, and, yes, ME ON A HORSE. It's who I am. It's who we are.

Finally, for those who know me, my whole life seems to be in song. I am a musician, and that permeates throughout every aspect of my life. I simply cannot have the party of a lifetime and let some guy ruin it by playing "Celebration", the Electric Slide, the Grease Megamix (oh god!), or other garbage like that. Music snob? You better believe it.

Anjani knew that if anything was important to me, the choice of music was it. From day one, she put me in charge of selecting our music approach and made it clear to everyone that it was my territory. Here's how I did it, using Aaron Copland's 4 building blocks of music to organize my thoughts:

1) Rhythm (DJ vs Live Band)
I think for Indians, this is a far easier question to answer than some of my non-Indian friends. Quite simply put, I have never seen a band play all the Indian songs that need to be played at a wedding with any level of quality. Bands are just not versatile enough to play everything from bhangra to bollywood to Sigur Ros (duh) and Madonna (yes, I said it). It's impossible, and that's coming from a musician! We needed a DJ. Don't get me wrong, there are live musicians that can handle portions of the overall event, but that comes at a considerable cost and still loses some versatility. Give me an iPod and speakers, and we got this thing covered!

2) Melody (Theme)
Just like decor, photography, fashion, etc, music needs to have a theme. In order to do that, think about the events you're holding that require music. For us, that meant Sangeet, Bharaat, Wedding, Cocktail Hour, and Reception. Again, just like those other aspects of a wedding, I believe you should want a consistent approach throughout for the music. After much deliberation, I decided that the best way to handle this was this: "the music of our lives". I want EVERY song I hear to be representative of something in my life; I want this to be a journey of our lives through music. That means everything from the innocent Indian music of the 50's and 60's that we listened to as children, sitting in our station wagon with our parents lecturing us about Kishore Kumar, Jagjit Singh, Mukesh, Mohammed Rafi, and, yes, Lata Mangeshkar and Asha Bhosle. That means Michael Jackson and Madonna. That might even mean grunge (Anjani, pretend you didn't read that). That most definitely means Sigur Ros.

So there's my melody - a journey through our lives.

3) Tone (The DJ)
With the decision to go with a DJ and the theme in place, I started making the calls. My first call was to the guy who every Indian couple knows. That's right, DJ Magic Mike out of NJ/NY. Mike has done at least 3 Bhargava weddings, including my brother's many years ago as well as two of my cousins, and is one of the most well known and polished Indian DJs out there. It was a no-brainer to call him first. That being said, even though he was ready to give us a great "family discount", I had to consider a few things. (1) Mike is in NJ and so we'd have to pay for 2 plane tickets and hotel rooms for him and his assistant, and (2) Mike's equipment is in NJ and so we'd have to pay for him to rent equipment in Los Angeles. The costs were going to add up. That option still available to us, I decided to call a few DJs in the LA area as recommended by our wedding planner, Amy Patel. A few calls into it, I stumbled upon Umair Zubair from Riamu Entertainment. An hour into the phone conversation, I knew I had my man. I connected with him because not only did he understand and appreciate my theme and approach, but he was the only person I talked to who was equally interested in getting to know US, the couple, and being involved with us from now until the date. He wanted a partnership. To those reading, I would say this, choose a vendor who makes you feel special and wants to be your partner. It will make all the difference in the world because they will equally be committed to delivering a world class event for you! For us, Umair is that guy and we can't wait to work with him over the next year!

4) Harmony (Supporting Cast)
Finally, with Umair in place, it was time to talk about some finishing touches to get us going. This is a process that is only just underway, so expect more update over the course of the next year. That being said, we started talking about live singers for the garba on Friday, dhol players for the bharaat, live shennai players, etc. In the end, for me, the biggest place to enhance the experience tremendously with live musicians is in the bharaat with dhol players. Lo and behold, Umair stepped up and offered us TWO dhol players for that! Wow, that is going to be a powerful rhythmic force - perfect for yours truly's journey upon my majestic beast. We'll just have to see how the other supporting cast shapes up, but I'm truly excited about it all.

So there you have it. We have a DJ and are ready to rock. So far, I couldn't be happier with our choice and I think we took the right amount of care in making the decision. All I can say now is start working on all your Indian dance moves - loosen those shoulders and practice "screwing in light bulbs". If you don't know what I mean, you'll know soon enough!

Thanks for reading! Anjani, the controls are now back in your hands...