Hi everyone – your guest blogger again…
I wanted to follow up Anjani’s previous post with one that focuses on a specific aspect of the weekend, and a significant decision resulting from it – THE CAKE.
As she mentioned, we went to 2 cake tastings over the weekend. The first of them was fairly forgettable while the second was a great experience. If you’re a cake aficionado and care about “spending more to get more” in the SoCal area, I would strongly recommend working with Linda at The Cake Studio. Anjani, myself, and her parents had a great experience there – she is truly an artist and her cakes are phenomenal. Anjani and I both agree that the reason her cakes taste so wonderful is that she admits to never being trained in classical bake tasting. She just works with what tastes great, and boy did they taste great – and this is from 4 people who really don’t love cakes at all anyway. Especially fondit – oh man, why did they create this atrocity???
Anyway, she is also a truly creative person, which worked so well for us and our approach to everything. She immediate took out a pad of paper and started sketching ideas for not only the cake, but the table as well. We were truly having a great time working with her.
Her price was quite expensive, but in this case I feel confident about saying “you get what you pay for.” Seems truly worth the cost.
But that’s just it. It is a high cost.
When we got back in the car, I looked at Anjani and here was our dialogue:
Saurab: Can I ask you a hard question?
Anjani: Yes…
Saurab: Do we really need cake at all? Indians prefer Indian desserts anyway and none of us even like cake. Wouldn’t it just be a waste of money?
Anjani: No. We need cake. I want the picture.
Saurab: You want to spend $XYZ for a picture?
Anjani: Ummm…
Well, now the door was open for a full-on discussion! Anjani’s father then made a great point – why not find out why people have cake and cake-cutting at weddings in the first place? If it makes sense to do it, then we should do it. But if there is no real purpose, then why waste the money?
…Anjani was still skeptical, but I knew I had a chance…
I immediately pulled out my trusty Blackberry and got to work. Besides finding a history of cakes which includes breaking cake over the bride’s head for fertility purposes, we found two main purposes behind the cake (beyond just being dessert):
1) The cutting of the cake is the first real “task” that we do together as a married couple
2) The feeding of the cake signifies the act of “providing for each other”
Ok, something to work with. In terms of item #2, well, Indians do that on the mandap as part of the wedding already (we feed each other a sweet). So no need for a cake ceremony to do that!
In terms of item #1, was it really worth $XYZ, or could we come up with another “task” to take its place – one that could result in an equally interesting picture and a significantly reduced cost. And one that is more meaningful to us.
I could tell Anjani was starting to be converted, if we could come up with a great idea.
Which…we did.
Which is…sorry, I won’t share just yet.
When we reviewed this whole discussion with Amy, she seconded the motion, suggesting a few things:
1) In her experiences, there are several Indian weddings without cake, and, provided there are Indian desserts, no one noticed
2) Even when there was cake, she mentioned an occasion in which the cake was set on a table next to the Indian desserts, and not one person took cake!
Wow, truly not an effective use of money indeed!
…Anjani was finally sold…
NO CAKE FOR US.
We’re just going to have to be happy with GULAB JAMUNs, RASGULLAHs, and RASMALAI. YUM.
And we couldn’t be more excited about our surprise activity in lieu of cake.
So, to our readers (especially Indian couples), I would say this – ask yourselves why you want a cake. If you truly love cake and think your guests will as well, then, by all means, follow your heart. But our experience (and others’, evidently), show that you don’t really need a cake – don’t spend the money just because you think you have to!
Hope this helps…stay tuned for more posts from your guest blogger!
I wanted to follow up Anjani’s previous post with one that focuses on a specific aspect of the weekend, and a significant decision resulting from it – THE CAKE.
As she mentioned, we went to 2 cake tastings over the weekend. The first of them was fairly forgettable while the second was a great experience. If you’re a cake aficionado and care about “spending more to get more” in the SoCal area, I would strongly recommend working with Linda at The Cake Studio. Anjani, myself, and her parents had a great experience there – she is truly an artist and her cakes are phenomenal. Anjani and I both agree that the reason her cakes taste so wonderful is that she admits to never being trained in classical bake tasting. She just works with what tastes great, and boy did they taste great – and this is from 4 people who really don’t love cakes at all anyway. Especially fondit – oh man, why did they create this atrocity???
Anyway, she is also a truly creative person, which worked so well for us and our approach to everything. She immediate took out a pad of paper and started sketching ideas for not only the cake, but the table as well. We were truly having a great time working with her.
Her price was quite expensive, but in this case I feel confident about saying “you get what you pay for.” Seems truly worth the cost.
But that’s just it. It is a high cost.
When we got back in the car, I looked at Anjani and here was our dialogue:
Saurab: Can I ask you a hard question?
Anjani: Yes…
Saurab: Do we really need cake at all? Indians prefer Indian desserts anyway and none of us even like cake. Wouldn’t it just be a waste of money?
Anjani: No. We need cake. I want the picture.
Saurab: You want to spend $XYZ for a picture?
Anjani: Ummm…
Well, now the door was open for a full-on discussion! Anjani’s father then made a great point – why not find out why people have cake and cake-cutting at weddings in the first place? If it makes sense to do it, then we should do it. But if there is no real purpose, then why waste the money?
…Anjani was still skeptical, but I knew I had a chance…
I immediately pulled out my trusty Blackberry and got to work. Besides finding a history of cakes which includes breaking cake over the bride’s head for fertility purposes, we found two main purposes behind the cake (beyond just being dessert):
1) The cutting of the cake is the first real “task” that we do together as a married couple
2) The feeding of the cake signifies the act of “providing for each other”
Ok, something to work with. In terms of item #2, well, Indians do that on the mandap as part of the wedding already (we feed each other a sweet). So no need for a cake ceremony to do that!
In terms of item #1, was it really worth $XYZ, or could we come up with another “task” to take its place – one that could result in an equally interesting picture and a significantly reduced cost. And one that is more meaningful to us.
I could tell Anjani was starting to be converted, if we could come up with a great idea.
Which…we did.
Which is…sorry, I won’t share just yet.
When we reviewed this whole discussion with Amy, she seconded the motion, suggesting a few things:
1) In her experiences, there are several Indian weddings without cake, and, provided there are Indian desserts, no one noticed
2) Even when there was cake, she mentioned an occasion in which the cake was set on a table next to the Indian desserts, and not one person took cake!
Wow, truly not an effective use of money indeed!
…Anjani was finally sold…
NO CAKE FOR US.
We’re just going to have to be happy with GULAB JAMUNs, RASGULLAHs, and RASMALAI. YUM.
And we couldn’t be more excited about our surprise activity in lieu of cake.
So, to our readers (especially Indian couples), I would say this – ask yourselves why you want a cake. If you truly love cake and think your guests will as well, then, by all means, follow your heart. But our experience (and others’, evidently), show that you don’t really need a cake – don’t spend the money just because you think you have to!
Hope this helps…stay tuned for more posts from your guest blogger!
Posts
We had the exact same issue. Amy also gave us some great suggestions explaining to me that people will notice if you don't have a first dance but won't notice if you don't have a cake. :) My fiance is all about the cake but has come to realize that the expense was not worth it and we could use that money elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteWe have a couple of alternatives in mind but haven’t come to a conclusion just yet. Our catering manager at our venue had given us an awesome idea along with what I REALLY want to do. I’m not sure if it’s the same thing you guys might have in mind, so I won’t give details in case it ruins it for your other readers. :)
I would LOVE to know the ideas your catering manager gave you. Trust me, it won't be the same as what we have come up with.....there is no food involved with ours, AND it goes with our theme....any guesses? :-)
ReplyDeleteOur catering manager has recommended a mock cake to us. Basically made out of Styrofoam and decorated with real fondant, butter cream and what not. There would be one layer that would be real, the part we would cut and feed each other. This way, you have your pictures and formalities. The cost would a very small fraction of what the actual BIG cake would cost.
ReplyDeleteSince both of us LOVE desserts, we decided to have a dessert bar with pastries, cupcakes, ice-cream, candy and everything else you can think of sweet. With this beautiful set up no one is going to be looking for the cake! : )
We realize there is going to be a lot of food and desserts left over so we have decided to donate the leftovers. There are many charities out there that organize for food and flowers from the wedding to delivered to homeless shelters and hospitals. Why not share a bit of our happiness with others? : )
I do have a slight idea to what you might have decided to do in lieu of a wedding cake. As you can tell, donating to the unfortunate is something I believe in deeply. I have been researching various different ways to donate in lieu of wedding favors and came across something that reminded of you! Planting trees! I remember from an earlier post of yours, your dedication and love for a tree. Have I guessed correctly? If not, I’m sure you two have come up with something amazing since you’re so considerate of nature. : )
First off, I admire your thought to donate. We are also donating in lieu or on behalf of our guests to the American Cancer Society. So, I'm with ya on that one! I hadn't considered donating the left over food and the flowers....very interesting thought and something to consider. Do they just come and pick it up from where ever you are? Are there specific agencies who handle all this?
ReplyDeleteThe fake cake thing....this made me laugh because this is exactly what we were going for. We even asked if the real cake could just be ONE slice and everything else be styro. The Cake Studio quoted us the exact same price for real or styro because her work on decorating using the fondant would not change. This is what led us to our creative little idea...which, my dear, you got right. I can't believe that you know me so well just after reading a blog!!! :-)
I am still doing doing research on what agencies come and pick up the food. The following link consists of various locations of food banks and rescue programs in California. I looked into one of the locations near my venue and they come pick up the food at no charge to us.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.calrecycle.ca.gov/reuse/links/Food.htm