Once again, I have been so delinquent in writing on my blog. Work. Work. Work. Last week, I was in Brazil and Argentina for work. I have dreamt of going to Buenos Aires for a very long time, so it was very much a sort of dream come true. I worked very hard during the week, and then spent time living my dream of tango dancing in one of the most vibrant cities in the world!
So - what does this have to do with the wedding, you may ask. Well, I write this feeling a bit topsy turvy. I have not only dreamed of visiting Argentina, but I have dreamed of living in Argentina for a very long time. Sometimes I look at this wedding, and I gasp....especially when I look at the budget. Do you know, I can buy an entire condo in the heart of Buenos Airesfor the same amount of money that is going into this wedding?!?!? ----and this is a normal indian wedding....it's not even an over the top indian wedding! How ridiculous is that! I know it's usually the guy that feels this way - - - but in this case, it's the reverse. The practicality versus the fairy tale. Saurab is 100% pro big wedding. I dangle between the romance and fairy tale of it all versus the practicality. Not very girly like - I know.
So when I came back home I asked Saurab if we really needed to do all this....and go through the whole party process. I am just as happy exchanging vows on the beach. So, we had the conversation and at the end of it, I realized that every piece of this wedding IS worth it. He reminded me that I am a person of moments - I love having moments where time stands still and there is a feeling of extreme bliss that you know you will carry with you for the rest of your life. What bigger moment can you have other than the birth of a child? I guess that is why people put their heart and soul into these weddings. It's the moment of it all. It's unforgettable and it's magical. Saurab had to remind me of that. I want to live in Argentina because of the amazing moments I can have living in a city that gave birth to a dance I am so passionate about.....but in the same vain - this wedding will arguably give us even bigger grander and more special memories that will live forever. So, I came to the conclusion that this is every bit of what I want, and yes, the money may be better served practically, but living out a big Indian wedding - the way it's supposed to be, in the glamor of it all - is every bit worth it for all the "moments" - the moments every Indian girl dreams about. Not everything in life is about monetary investments - investments of the heart are okay...more than okay if they result in incredible ever lasting moments. Ladies, you may have to remind your guys of that --- in my case my lovely finance has to remind me! :-)
Anyway, this is a more somber post, I know.....but I thought it was important to post because I can't imagine that I am the only one who goes through the thought of fairy tale versus practicality. So, for those going through it.....you are not alone.....and remind yourself in the times of questioning that the big wedding IS worth it.....even every bit of stress associated with it....because every one of these memories will be associated with the fondest set of life moments you will ever have! :-)
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6 months ago
Anj,
ReplyDeleteMoney comes and goes and is really unimportant in the scheme of things. You will make more of it, but you will only have one wedding - and you have been dreaming of this for so long. So, I say go big or go home.
With that said, in the true spirit of Indian philosophy and dance - which I know is central to your being, Nataraja (literally, the Lord (or King) of Dance, is the cosmic representation of Shiva - performing the devine dance across the universe. And, the followers of Shiva - true yogis - sacrifice all material possessions, endure hunger and pain, and survive on the charity of those who give in order to attain enlightenment. And, there is something to be said for using only what you need rather than living in excess.
So, perhaps you could honor your faith and culture best by doing what 'needs' to be done - like feeding your family and friends well - but not going overboard on the things that don't matter (table settings)... in the end, as you say best, it's the experiences that matter most, and those experiences can be equally as grand and memorable sitting on the ground as compared to sitting on a golden stool.
Amazing Blog post Anjani! VERY helpful to the dozens of brides that are planning a weddings from afar! Thank you for the kind words and insight for other brides...
ReplyDeleteI agree with Amy, this post has to be hands down the best one! Every bride at some point comes to a point in the planning process where she feels this way. I myself asked myself several times, "is this what I really want?" "this money could go into better use" etc. But at the end of the day, I realized, I am only getting married once and I do not want any regrets in the future.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE your blog? :)